Not Alone Series: ADULTING

 

I have merged todays word for 31 Days of Blogging and the Not Alone Series Prompt together to write about the word ADULTING.

ADULTING.

How are you still connected to your family of origin (that’s the one you grew up in: parents, siblings, and extended family) even as you are adulting (a.k.a. living as an independent adult, at home or on your own)? How has your relationship with your parents changed as you’ve grown up? How connected are you with your extended family? What aspects of these relationships do you think are affected by your being single? How do you think your family relationships would change after marriage or entering religious life? (Thanks for the topic suggestion,Bek!)

I had no idea that Adulting had been added to the dictionary until I read Lindsay’s post. I figured it was just a word teenagers and young adults made up as a joke and it went viral. Just like BAE, GLOMP, SELFIE, and a bunch of other random words people use regularly now. Go read urbandictionary.com when you’re bored it’s full of some interesting made up words….but it sometimes makes me not want to live in this world anymore.

I am often a culprit of using the word and hashtag #ADULTING when complaining on twitter. Often it comes when I am doing really mundane tasks my mom no longer does for me like paying bills, balancing my budget/bank accounts, or making doctor appointments (I hate doing this one the most for some reason). And doing all of these alone when you don’t have a spouse or someone else to bounce ideas off of can be super lame.

Adulting is hard..it’s even harder when you’re single. You have to make all these decisions alone. No one to bounce ideas off of. No one to ask opinions. I do ask my mom from time to time and granted I still live with her but she really wants me to be independent and make my own decisions and not influence what I do..which is great and all but sometimes it’s frustrating when I.HAVE.NO.IDEA.WHAT.I.AM.DOING.

Which leads me to the 2nd half of this post. I am still pretty connected with my family. Even though a lot of them live far away I still talk to some of them.

Basically no one seems to bother anyone about getting married. Out of all my cousins (I have 15) 3 are married, 1 is engaged, 1 is living with his gf (but they had a baby together so they are basically kind of married), 3 are minors, and the rest of us are all young adults trying to figure out this world.

A lot of us are introverts (I know that doesn’t excuse our problems but I think sometimes they have trouble dating over others). A lot of us don’t want to play the “dating games” some of us may not be interested in marriage at all I’m not really sure. I have one uncle that probably bothers his only daughter about getting married but I’m not sure how much everyone is pressured to get married. I know my mom would like to see me in a more stable work environment so I can be more financially stable and move out and live on my own.

I do think some people think I’m too picky when it comes to dating and marriage. Others say I shouldn’t settle. So somedays I’m just totally confused and overwhelmed. I often struggle with the whole “marriage discernment” box. How do you know what love is? How do you know you are not settling? How do you know you are making the right decisions in life? So many questions that movies and TV make look sooo easy and in real life cannot be solved in 90 minutes and don’t always end with happily ever after.

I’m not really sure I solved this “ADULTING” thing or question with this post but it was cathartic to write all these things down and get my thoughts out of my head and on paper.

Head over to Lindsay’s Blog to read more Not Alone Series Posts! Thanks for Hosting!