This weeks topic is Dating vs Courtship and it wasn’t as popular as I thought it was going to be..or maybe everyone is just crazy busy and hasn’t gotten their posts up yet. I think this topic can be somewhat controversial as well. So here goes nothing!
So back in the day dating wasn’t even a thing it was all arranged marriages or “courtship.” Just listen to a bunch of old songs and they all talk about “courting” women. Growing up I can remember asking what the word “courting” meant and I was told it just means dating. But in the last few years I’ve learned that they really aren’t the same thing.
So here’s the thing if you read into courting I see the pros and cons. Not all of it seems insane to me. However I think you can take the parts of courting that make sense and create your own version of “chaste dating” you can create a successful relationship. Part of the issue I think with courting vs dating is that we have secularized dating as just entertainment. How many times have we heard someone say, “I’m bored this weekend so I need to find a date so I have something to do.” While yes dating can be fun it shouldn’t be viewed as pure entertainment. It should be viewed as a way to get to know someone better.
So a few weeks ago I came across an article about why courtship is flawed. If you’re anywhere on the internet I’m sure you’ve seen it as it’s been shared like crazy. I think I actually posted about it in one of my quicktakes when it first came out. I really liked what he had to say in that article.
Two of the issues I have with “standard courtship” is the fact that any guy that wants to date me needs my parents permission and that you need a chaperone at all times. First of all I’m in my late 20s so I feel like I shouldn’t need my parents permission of anything really. I also think having to ask permission to date someone is A LOT OF PRESSURE. In the above article he mentions how he knows men that haven’t gone out with women they liked because they either got turned down by the girls father or were afraid/didn’t want to ask permission.
I understand the whole you shouldn’t be alone that much to avoid temptation thing but on a first date 9 times out of 10 you’re going to go to a public place so the only time you’d be alone is in the car. I feel like if I had to always have a chaperone I would always be kind of judged and it would be hard for me to be myself completely. I feel like all the “rules” of courtship make it seem like you can’t be trusted to not act like sex fanatics.
I’m sure there are pros and cons in every situation of courtship vs dating but for now I’m going to take the dating chastely route and see what happens.
Fun fact: I “went out” with a guy in high school who was a super devout Lutheran (but went to my Catholic high school). His parents required that we go with a chaperone for all of our dates. Our chaperone was usually his *little sister* which made me feel like I was babysitting more than anything else.
Elizabeth@SuperSwellTimes recently posted…7 Quick Takes about What I’ve Been Up To
HA I knew kids in high school that were only allowed to go on “group dates” which really was just a group of 10 teenagers hanging out vs a date.
I know the Duggars area always taking their younger siblings as chaperones and I’m all yeah like that 10 year old is going to stop them from holding hands or kissing LOL
BethAnne recently posted…Day Trip to Verona, Italy