So I got married last year on April 22, 2017. This post actually got published as our wedding mass was beginning.
Over the last year, I have wanted to write some kind of marriage post but I felt I wasn’t equipped to do so. What do I know about marriage after only 3, 6, 9, 12 months?
I don’t have 10-25 years marriage experience like a lot of other Catholic Bloggers writing about marriage do.
Most days I have no idea what I am doing in this “marriage thing.” I say things I probably shouldn’t to my husband. He says things he probably regrets as well. We argue/bicker about silly [stupid] things.
Sometimes we don’t really talk due to our busy lives and schedules. There are many days I don’t really feel our relationship is much different from when we were dating except now we live together/share a bed.
But the thing about marriage and marriage blogs is they all make you feel like you are doing it wrong.
If we watch TV in separate rooms by ourselves are we neglecting our marriage? If we work crazy hours/separate shifts is that going to hurt our marriage? If we’re not having deep conversations all the time are we doing it wrong?
So many questions that the internet thinks they can answer but no one really knows any of the answers. After talking about many of these things with friends and family over the past year I’ve come to the conclusion that only you can determine what is good or bad for your marriage. No two marriages look the same. No two couples are the same. Everyone has their theories but only you and your husband can decide how you’re marriage is going and if you feel you are doing a good job connecting/communicating/living life.
Because at the end of the day we still have all the responsibilities we had before we were married – bills need to be paid, jobs need to get done, food needs to be cooked, laundry needs to be done, groups/meetings/bible studies/book clubs need to be attended, etc. etc.
I can definitely see how many people say once people get married they tend to “disappear.” It’s so easy to literally do nothing but go to work and go home and never see anyone else besides your spouse. Especially as an introvert.
But I feel it’s really good to not do that and get out and see other people and friends. And I think it’s good to do stuff without each other as well. This past year I took off from teaching Confirmation and I’m really starting to miss it and thinking about what I want to do in the next school year.
So, in the end, we survived our first year of marriage! Now onto many more! Was your first year of marriage everything you thought it was? Share it with me in the comments!