Love languages apply to more than just romance; they help you learn how to make people feel appreciated and cared for in all of your relationships. What is your love language? (Take the quiz at5lovelanguages.com.) How have you learned to speak someone else’s love language? Do you find it easier to speak some languages than others; if so, which ones? How have you shown or received love in multiple languages?
The last time we wrote about this topic I talked about how my scores are different for single Beth than they are for Dating Beth. After thinking about it for awhile it makes sense. We’re obviously going to see our significant other much differently “love” wise than our friend, mom, or sister. Like yeah, we love all those people but not in the same way.
I am very much like Lindsay and Quality Time is my jam. It is also my boyfriends as well. It’s been awhile since I had him take the test so I cannot remember our scores exactly. I want to say his top two are Quality Time and Acts of Service. My top two are Physical Touch and Quality Time.
I am sometimes shocked at how in a relationship Physical Touch is super high because outside of one it’s dead last. Like if I know you I will give you a hug but it’s always this awkward hug.
And even at that, there are days when I don’t want anyone near me or touching me….especially when I am tired, stressed out, annoyed, hangry, or hot.
Quality Time has always been important to me. I want to be needed and paid attention to. I think part of it comes from being ignored and left out a lot of my childhood. My boyfriend views quality time a little differently. He says he doesn’t care what we are doing or if we are doing our own things as long as we’re together it’s fine.
Sometimes that doesn’t bother me and I’m fine doing our own things (because hello introvert recharging) but other times I want to put all the devices and distractions away and for you to look at me and talk to me.
That is why I like taking walks together. It gets us out exercising and it forces us to put all the distractions away and to just be together and talk. Which writing that down sounds kind of sad and pathetic but that is just the reality of the distracting world we currently live in.
One thing I have learned over the years even though the love languages seem kind of crazy they are pretty accurate and if you know someone else’s love language you can somewhat figure out how to show that person love, affection, and make them happy.
Over Thanksgiving, I had my sister and her husband take the quiz. It was funny my mom actually was able to guess all their answers before they even took the test (mom knows best?). My sister learned that Words of Affirmation was her husband’s number 1 love language. And then after thinking about it she said that it made sense because he LOVES it when you tell him he did a good job or what he did was appreciated or being thanked for helping her do something.
My sisters was Quality Time which my mom predicted because she says she is high maintenance. Since my sister knows this about herself and her husband sometimes gets lost in his own little world playing video games or doing other stuff on the computer she has learned to just be blunt with him and say, “Husband, will you spend time with me? Can we watch xyz TV Show? or go to XYZ store together?” And he listens and has learned to make her a priority and spend time with her.
The Love Languages are just a tool we can use to help each other learn about each other. They cannot fix all our problems we have with people but they can help us understand others better.
What is your love language and what are some tips you have learned about that love language and yourself?
Yeah, Quality Time! Learning to ask for what you need (including getting your S.O. to speak your love language) is such an important skill. I find asking for things extremely difficult, but I always feel better when I do it. No one can read minds except Jesus.
Beth Anne says
YES! I am SUPER INDEPENDENT and HATE asking people for help or things…even those close to me. So asking people for things is hard. But I’m working on getting better at it.